Thing 2: Thing 1! Thing 1! You have to stop hibernating. We’ve been back for a week and we haven’t written a post!
Thing 1: mmmrhf.
Thing 2: Are you alive in there. Don’t make me drag you out of your cave.
Thing 1: Watch it. You’re dangerously close to a bad pun there. One we’ve heard recently.
Thing 2: Oh. Yeah. Kevin J. Anderson. Such a bad pun. Should we take away his author card?
Thing 1: I don’t think either of us are powerful enough to take it away. *ponders* How about probation?
Thing 2: All right. But it was a really bad pun.
Thing 1: Why do you think I had to hibernate so long.
Thing 2: I suppose we should tell our readers what we’re talking about?
Thing 1: You mean not leave them wondering about the bad pun or that we’re talking about the
Writers and Illustrators of the Future Awards Event?
Thing 2: Probably both.
Thing 1: I took care of the second part. You get to explain the pun.
Thing 2: Nah, they should watch the awards show. Speaking of the awards show, just to give you guys a little bit of an insiders point of view, we got to go review with the founders of Fyrecon.
Thing 1: I’m amazed we all fit in the car, what with your preening.
Thing 2: My hair is not the one that had to be done five freaking times just to get it to work.
Thing 1: You singed off all your hair eons ago. No wonder it takes no time.
Thing 2: We got to for the red carpet, which was just before the show. All the pretty dresses, both black tie formal and medieval formal was just fun to see.
Thing 1: Even the President of Galaxy Press, John Goodwin, got in on the act with a chainmail tie.
Thing 2: Although I’ll say, despite all the pretty medieval dresses, my favorite was still Emily Goodwin’s.
Thing 1: A yes, the lovely peach and floral gown. It did stand out against all the darker colors.
Thing 2: After the red carpet where everyone got their pictures taken. It was on to the show. If you’ve never gotten to go to the Wilshire Ebell Theater, you’re really missing out. One of the ushers told us it was built in the 1920s and is a federally protected historical landsite.
Thing 1: Old things abounded even in the heart of Hollywood. But old things weren’t why we were there that night. We were there to meet the new writers and illustrators. You know, from a distance. In the audience.
Thing 2: The show started off with the parting of the red curtain. On stage you see an ambidextrous painter, who is soon joined by fire dancers. He works at a furious rate drawing a dragon. Painting a dragon. Whatever.
Thing 1: Leave it to your to not know how to refer to the dragon, bird brain.
Thing 2: I prefer not to think about the dragons if I don’t have to. Pains in the butt.
Thing 1: Hard to ignore the dragons that night.
Thing 2: I will say the stage dragon was amazing.
Thing 1: Amazing, and tragically the subject of a … yeah, go watch the video. You have to catch Larry Elmore’s entrance.
Thing 2: The show continued on going through the foundation of the contest and what the long-term effects have been. They went through numerous projects by past winners. Too many to name.
Thing 1: The number of judges between the contests, past and present, is almost too long to name now too.
Thing 2: I know. I feel bad for Gunhild Jacobs.
Thing 1: Somehow, she mustered through though.
Thing 2: She always does. She’s a wonderful MC for the show.
Thing 1: She even got the new judges’ names right.
Thing 2: Were you expecting her to do anything less.
Thing 1: *scowls at Thing 2* Less time to practice them.
Thing 2: Less time?
Thing 1: She’d been saying the other judges’ names for at least a year, bird brain.
Thing 2: Good lord, scale tail. I’m pretty sure she had time to practice these too.
Thing 1: Well you might win the life time achievement award for being irritating.
Thing 2: I can’t win what you’ve already got.
Thing 1: *sighs heavily* Fire preserve me.
Thing 2: Nothing else will.
Thing 1: Why did I give up eating avian? Anyway, back to the Lifetime Achievement Award. This year the recipient was Mike Resnick!
Thing 2: Mike spoke about the need to pass it on speaking of his own experience helping writers who deserved to be in print get printed. Which is part of the theme of the contest. Those who have gone before get to help those who have yet to go.
Thing 1: Well, Larry did that with the new art judge during the opening act. They really like that theme.
Thing 2: What theme?
Thing 1: You can’t remember the theme for two seconds? And you wonder why I call you bird brain?
Thing 2: Better than some of the things I could call you.
Thing 1: Yes, well at least I’ll still remember my insults to say them in two minutes.
Thing 2: Speaking of which, it was really nice to see Pat Henry, founder of Dragon Con, speaking about all the negative traits of dragons.
Thing 1: At least dragon don’t try to convince everyone they’re all purified and stuff. They own up to their natures.
Thing 2: Yes, yes. That’s why you find them in caves. They’re so open and honest.
Thing 1: Out in the open would get their hoards raided easier.
Thing 2: Anyway, back to the stage and the dragon there on. Can I say how amazing the stage dragon was?
Thing 1: I don’t know. Can you say something positive about a dragon?
Thing 2: I think someone needed more sleep. Anyway, the stage dragon breathed smoke, rolled his eyes, and even glared a little bit. Not to mention taking up most of the stage. So like a dragon.
Thing 1: I knew you couldn’t do it without saying something negative. My favorite was his interacting with those foolish enough to mention him in their speeches.
Thing 2: From there we went on to the announcements of the winners by quarter.
Thing 1: Was it by quarter? I got so lost.
Thing 2: There are twelve and, well, twelve of the writers and illustrators.
Thing 1: Plus two published finalist writers.
Thing 2: I still think some of my favorite parts were the interpretive dances. Including the space walkers.
Thing 1: Yes, jumping around on pogo stilts on a stage doesn’t seem like a bad idea at all.
Thing 2: Except for you. This can only end in tears. Mostly yours.
Thing 1: From laughing at the image of you trying to use the things even without a stage?
Thing 2: Are you trying to insult me? I think you kind of failed.
Thing 1: The writers and illustrators on stage certainly did not fail. Except for Kevin J. Anderson. You’re still on probation.
Thing 2: Mmmm. Bad puns. Bad puns. The horror. The horror.
Thing 1: Wrong genre there. You might have enjoyed the space dance, but I like the aerial dance. The grace. The beauty. The upper body strength that took.
Thing 2: I will admit she had better biceps than most guys.
Thing 1: Why do those dances always seem to include a fast fall at the end?
Thing 2: It’s not as impressive if you’re not falling. You should know that.
Thing 1: But no one knew who were getting the golden awards.
Thing 2: But that’s always my favorite part of the night.
Thing 1: You never know how they will deliver their awards.
Thing 2: You never know how they will deliver their speeches.
Thing 1: In a delirious slur?
Thing 2: Actually, I was referring to the golden pens sort of yelp of joy. I don’t know that I’ve ever heard a male make that noise before.
Thing 1: I kind of was too. So excited they can’t put their words together. Silly authors. At least the artist has an excuse. This year’s winners’ envelopes where delivered by dragon and by knight.
Thing 2: And with this we say congratulations to Jake Marley and Michael Michera!
Thing 1: They and all the other Award Winning Authors and Illustrators can be found in the new National Best Seller at local bookstores, both chain and indie. Be sure to get out for your copy today and check if you have a local winner doing a signing in your area! It’s not too late to join the fun!
Thing 2: I like how you get to do the plug when I was the one who got you up for it.
Thing 1: You snooze you lose. You didn’t let me snooze.
Thing 2: I wasn’t even snoozing!
#wotf33
Post Note: We forgot to mention, Utah had another Winner! Congratulations Dustin Steinacker who will be joining us at Fyrecon in June to talk about the importance of writing and art contests. That’s all folks. Go watch the video.
To have reviews done by Thing 1 and Thing 2 or for any questions you care to dream up, email thing1thing2@sibscript.org.